1. Add a quote from Mather to introduction. Please use more quotes from Mather throughout the entire paper and cite/update in footnotes and bibliography etc.
2. Give more context in intro to include things like the religious atmosphere of Boston at the time, the political atmosphere, how educated were the people in general, the economic situation of the majority of the people vs the people who supported Mather, racial climate of Boston, gender and family, etc. Factors that might be most important might include the general idea of religion and respect for Mather as a minister and an educated man, the political power someone like Mather would have and/or if he had strong opposition among the people who were against inoculation for reasons like politics, etc. In other words, she wants you to give a general feel for the world that Mather was dealing with. Racial climate will be important here too (because of the racist implications of the opposition to the inoculation).
3) Analyze the letters of Cotton Mather, the literature by people who opposed him, reports of the ultimate findings of the study, etc. and sprinkle throughout paper where letters are mentioned.
4 strengthen thesis statement, which is underlined on page 2, you might want to frame it less as “Mather opened minds to science,” and more as “the first vaccine study in American History meant …”
5. More technical details about the actual situation of smallpox (chances of survival, how sick people became, how to treat the illness, etc.) at the time.
