Please see the following feedback from the draft:
This is a good draft. There are some notations that you’ll want to address – The question/problem seems to wander across many different areas. You’ve mentioned that the paper will outline potential strategies to guarantee ecologically sound marketing practices. Hasn’t there already been extensive research on that? From what I’ve seen, there are quite a number of studies that have investigated and reported on this, so what are you intending to uncover that hasn’t already been identified? Also, you mention that the paper ill consider how legislation could be related to ensure long-term success in sustainable marketing practices. Is that a problem/question you intend to gather data on? So, in the study you should focus on only one problem/question in order to keep it as simple and straightforward as possible. Now, reading through what you’ve presented following the abstract, there are numerous other questions/problems introduced. In the abstract you reference “marketing” practices, but in the introduction you appear to shift to “advertising tactics.” As you know, marketing involves the spectrum of product (Brazilian Amazon experience), price (value proposition), place (location and channels of distribution) and promotion (marketing communication), whereas advertising is just one element of the promotion mix. Thus, it appears that you’ve shifted from the broader issue of marketing to the narrow emphasis on advertising. Following that, you again pic up on the idea of sustainable marketing strategies. Keep in mind that marketing strategies are how the marketing mix is developed to align with the needs, wants, demands and expectations of target markets. The use of billboards as an advertising tool is a tactic that an organization can use to convey marketing messages to a target market. Thus, it appears that the direction you’re intending to take is to determine if the promotional tactic of using billboard advertising in the Brazilian Amazon region has a negative or detrimental effect on the ecosystem and vulnerable species. If that’s the case, then your concentration should be on presenting data/evidence that relates to that only. A great deal of the confusion comes from syntax and grammar usage. Marketing isn’t advertising, and advertising isn’t marketing, therefore it’s important to have consistent clarity in the terminology. There’s a sentence on page 3 that starts off … “Advertising campaigns may lead to the depletion…” Does this mean all advertising campaigns? On social media? In newspapers? On television? On the radio? In magazines? In search engines? On tour operator web sites? Other? That statement opens up the investigation to a very broad array of advertising channels that haven’t been mentioned up to that point. The hypotheses do not appear to tie back to the problems/questions presented in the abstract. If you’re going to go with the billboard impact question, then hypothesis 1 would more likely be that “Billboard advertising in the Brazilian Amazon region has a detrimental effect on sustainable practices and species endangerment.” If that’s undertaken, your hypothesis 2 becomes irrelevant since it’s the opposite of 1. And hypothesis 3 raises a new issue of US-backed advertising, which wasn’t mentioned in the abstract. Is the research to only investigate US-backed billboard advertising or does it matter? Finally, the details on the data – quantitative and qualitative – are vague, so you’ll want to specify which quantitative data and which qualitative data will be gathered and analyzed. You mention interviewing experts, but they aren’t specified. You also mention getting insights from local Brazilian Aamazonians, but how will you do that in such a short period of time? Over what period of time are you going to review the satellite images…comparing 10 years ago to now? 5 years ago to now? Last year to this year? It’s a guess that you’ve considered at least some of the above already and have begun working through them.
Let me know if you need any additional guidance!
