you did this essay got me a 45/75 I need your help to fix this
He said what he means by simple is focuse the thesis is like this: How the supernatural
compels Macbeth to his downfall.
Just make it a short sentence
Hi Cooper.
Positives: APA format except several blank lines between cover page title and your name. Only have 1 blank line. Also, don’t have a blank line before my name on cover page. Delete the apostrophe after Soliloquy on top of Page 2.
Solid lead sentence.
For next time: You said, “Macbeth is in his role as King of Scotland but is suffering, according to the soliloquy.”
What soliloquy are you referring to? Whose soliloquy? Just change it to “Macbeth’s soliloquy”.
Assume the reader does not know anything to help you be more clear.
Delete “that was” before “achieving one’s goals via wickednes” and replace with “of”.
Remove blank space in introduction. Spell theatre “theater”.
Nihilism is the rejection of all values, not just conservative values.
I don’t see the connection between your topic sentence regarding theater metaphors and the next sentence about nihilism.
I don’t get how Macbeth’s agony reflects the warping of time caused by his crimes. That sentence needs an in-text citation because you’re not a Macbeth expert or scholar who can credibly say that.
Same thing with the next sentence. Needs an in-text citation. A reliable source needs to say that.
You said, “The lords deliver a speech” but you did not mention lords before this. Lords of what? How many? Why is it necessary for them to speak after his death?
What is “sobbing out for Duncan” on top of Page 3?
What is the Elizabethan order? Please define terms before using them so the average reader understands.
Where is the proof he disrupted the Elizabethan order? Need an expert source or evidence from the play.
Insert “Macbeth” after “Therefore isolates himself”.
Be more concise. Delete “make him” before “change his kingly ardor.”
Need an in-text citation after the sentence on Macbeth’s speech being Shakespeare’s most dramatic. Have you read all of Shakespeare’s works to know this?
Who alleged the witches’ prophesies were absurd? The reader missed that part or you didn’t have it.
Need an in-text citation about Macbeth being “at the most lonely phase of his life.”
Explain how “Metaphorically, Macbeth has fallen short of grace.” Is the bloody battle the metaphor?
In the introduction, you said Macbeth had “desires for libertation from a pointless existence,” but I don’t think you showed the reader his liberation desires.
I think that sentence is your thesis, but it’s too complicated to be a good thesis. You are trying to say too much, trying to sound intellectual, rather than being clear to the reader. Your purpose should be simple, not so complicated I don’t understand it. Don’t write this to prove something to me.
You received Novice on Stimulating Ideas because I never got a sense you had control over the paper’s ideas. The paper did not seem genuine and your thesis was not focused.
You received Novice on Organization for similar reasons. A paper is not organized if the reader is confused after being finished.
