Marriage and Family Questionnaire
1. We are Shantoya and Marquez Hugler and we have been married for 6 years and it will be 7 years this June. We met at church. We dated for 8 months before we got married. Yes, it was kind of fast, but we knew we wanted to get married.
2. Shantoya- I was attracted to Marquez spirituality. The way he prayed was a plus in my book. Marquez- I was attracted to Shatoya’s booty. Lol
3. Shantoya- a. My advice to other’s on how to pick a good marriage partner would be communicate effectively on what you expect in a relationship. b. I believe people make poor choices because they get distracted on the fun things in a relationship like being caught up on what he/she brought them and the highs of going on vacations etc. instead of the important stuff like having conversations on the specifics of finances or if they want to have children or not. This to me can simply be answered by asking a person where do you see yourself in the future? Marquez- make sure your goals are aligned with the person. Make sure you know the person. Don’t get caught up in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Be honest about what you like and don’t like.
4. As far as preparation for marriage. We both would say that we were not prepared. The advice we both would give is for the couple to seek marriage counseling specifically in a church and for each person if not already to go to therapy. This is because throughout marriage both are necessary to maintain a marriage.
5. Shantoya- marriage life is different from courtship b/c one your free to have all the sex you want and two you cannot just up and leave or do what you want when you want. The bond in a marriage is not just between you and that person, it also includes God. Marriage is different than I expected due to me not knowing that it was intentionally going to expose/highlight things like selfishness, laziness, the real things you like and don’t like. Marquez- you can’t just give up in a marriage. Dating gives you the opportunity to choose wisely.
6. Shantoya- I would say the strengths of our marriage would be enjoying time together, commitment, and our spiritual well being. The main strategy to me is communication. Marquez-
7. Shantoya- a common source of conflict I would say is money. My advice is again to communicate. Marquez would say the same because he says unspoken expectations is unfair. Example: If Quez overdrew his account and he expected me to give him the money and he didn’t tell me, and I spent my check on groceries then how could he get mad at me for not helping him. That is unspoken expectations.
8. Shantoya- Sex can get tiring for either partner. For most women it’s after the children are born. Marquez- don’t let the fire burn out. Try doing the love language test as well it helps knowing each partner’s most efficient way to communicate.
9. For us the spiritual intimacy was already there. Hint: we met in church. We prayed for each other before we got married and we incorporate prayer as a daily tool now. So, the spiritual intimacy came naturally for us. Answer for the both of us. Marquez-marriage is spiritual so for us and our marriage we needed God to be the center.
10. Shantoya- The top two issues families face today to me would possibly be raising kids in general if they have any and trying to work-life balance. Marquez agrees.Marriage and Family Questionnaire
1. We are Shantoya and Marquez Hugler and we have been married for 6 years and it will be 7 years this June. We met at church. We dated for 8 months before we got married. Yes, it was kind of fast, but we knew we wanted to get married.
2. Shantoya- I was attracted to Marquez spirituality. The way he prayed was a plus in my book. Marquez- I was attracted to Shatoya’s booty. Lol
3. Shantoya- a. My advice to other’s on how to pick a good marriage partner would be communicate effectively on what you expect in a relationship. b. I believe people make poor choices because they get distracted on the fun things in a relationship like being caught up on what he/she brought them and the highs of going on vacations etc. instead of the important stuff like having conversations on the specifics of finances or if they want to have children or not. This to me can simply be answered by asking a person where do you see yourself in the future? Marquez- make sure your goals are aligned with the person. Make sure you know the person. Don’t get caught up in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Be honest about what you like and don’t like.
4. As far as preparation for marriage. We both would say that we were not prepared. The advice we both would give is for the couple to seek marriage counseling specifically in a church and for each person if not already to go to therapy. This is because throughout marriage both are necessary to maintain a marriage.
5. Shantoya- marriage life is different from courtship b/c one your free to have all the sex you want and two you cannot just up and leave or do what you want when you want. The bond in a marriage is not just between you and that person, it also includes God. Marriage is different than I expected due to me not knowing that it was intentionally going to expose/highlight things like selfishness, laziness, the real things you like and don’t like. Marquez- you can’t just give up in a marriage. Dating gives you the opportunity to choose wisely.
6. Shantoya- I would say the strengths of our marriage would be enjoying time together, commitment, and our spiritual well being. The main strategy to me is communication. Marquez-
7. Shantoya- a common source of conflict I would say is money. My advice is again to communicate. Marquez would say the same because he says unspoken expectations is unfair. Example: If Quez overdrew his account and he expected me to give him the money and he didn’t tell me, and I spent my check on groceries then how could he get mad at me for not helping him. That is unspoken expectations.
8. Shantoya- Sex can get tiring for either partner. For most women it’s after the children are born. Marquez- don’t let the fire burn out. Try doing the love language test as well it helps knowing each partner’s most efficient way to communicate.
9. For us the spiritual intimacy was already there. Hint: we met in church. We prayed for each other before we got married and we incorporate prayer as a daily tool now. So, the spiritual intimacy came naturally for us. Answer for the both of us. Marquez-marriage is spiritual so for us and our marriage we needed God to be the center.
10. Shantoya- The top two issues families face today to me would possibly be raising kids in general if they have any and trying to work-life balance. Marquez agrees.
