Discuss beneficial emotions in chapters 5-8 in Dacher Keltner’s book, Born to be good.
Let’s discuss…
5. Embarrassment
6. Smile
7. Laughter
8. Tease
“1) Embarrassment
Wow, what a fascinating chapter; I had no idea how much embarrassment or the feeling of embarrassment meant to social order. Embarrassment allows us to have the ability to appease, reconcile and have overall concern for others. I had never thought about embarrassment in that way before. Without embarrassment, we are unaware of immoral acts, wrongdoings, and a lack of respect for others.
When I think back to any embarrassing times in my life, I always think about how it affected me, but what is really concerning me is how others see or perceive me. There is a social contract between people, and embarrassment is the glue of the contract, and all of this connects back to Jen and having a meaningful life.
2) Smile
I have always felt like a smile is the best way to show others that you are kind and a way to connect with people, even if it is just in passing. So, I was interested in reading this chapter and learning about the facial anatomy and evolutionary understanding behind smiling. Its so fascinating that Darwin and other scientists could trace back the origins of different smiles and why they are used and used.
I also found it compelling that our real genuine smiles come from love and joy that cause crows feet, something in our growing vapid society finds ugly. But they come from something so wonderful that they should be embarrassed.
Its very interesting how many life outcomes can be predicted based on your smile and how much smiling means to relations (marriages, mother/child). I wonder if more people realize this if they would change how they behave.
3) Laughter
“The Laugh might rightfully lay clam into the status of toolmaking, agriculture, the opposable thumb, self-representation…” I had no idea how important laughing was to humankind. I found it so interesting that the region of the brain associated with laughter is much older; laughter existed before language was developed.
Just like with the other chapters in this book, laughter is vital for social and group connections. It illicit a cooperative response in others which is necessary for peace.
Something that really stood out to me from this chapter is the idea that laughter is a vacation. Laughing allows people to escape. And it can be a way to help with grief. Seeing as laughter and breath are so closely linked, it will enable people who experience loss to take a moment and breath and find a moment of peace. That is such a fantastic thing.
I liked this quote ” Laugh is a lightning bolt of wisdom, a moment in which the individual steps back and gains a broader perspective upon their lives and the human condition.”
4) Tease
I find it so fascinating the difference between teasing and what we would view as bullying today. Teasing is not aggressive and mean-spirited. It is a form of play, that is meant to shows others social commitments. Bullies act with violence. The art of teasing is the allow for reciprocity.
I now understand why you hear adults say that when someone teases you, picks on you, pulls your pigtails, or whatever, it means they like you. I always just thought they were full of it teasing is an entrance into a playful world in which potential suitors can test and provoke one another”
I also find it so interesting that teasing and politeness are so closely linked I would have never guessed that before.
I really like how in each chapter he talks about how each of these elements lead back to having a higher Jen ratio because at the end of the day living a good and meaningful life is so important in each of these aspects of being a human contribute to having that higher Jen ratio”
“One thing I really love about this book is Keltners emphasis on the historical contexts and the biological origins of human emotions. The chapter on embarrassment took me by surprise and after reading this chapter, I have a new appreciation for this emotion. I say this because historically myself and others Im sure, have associated embarrassment with negativity, when in actuality embarrassment seems to be one of the key emotions that allows us to empathize with others. The section titled Muybridges Immodest Brain specifically talks about individuals named J.S., Muybridge and Phineas Gage, whom all had damage to their orbitofrontal cortex. As a result of this brain damage, these individuals became highly impulsive and as Keltner states, they have lost the ability to appease, to reconcile, and signal their concern for others (Keltner, 93). This means they lost their ability to feel embarrassment, which triggers forgive
