Personal essay, about the topic i submitted below, this is my professor comment.
Noemi – You have a good start here, but remember that the skeleton x-ray is just the 5 foundations sentences (thesis, topics sentences – one for each body paragraph – and a resatement.) Make sure to put the same subtopics clearly in the thesis and restatement in the same order as the rest of the paragarphs. For example, in your thesis, you are talking about providing “a strong foundation for a child life” but in the first TS, you are talking about giving good examples to follow. Make sure they line up so that each of the 3 parts of the thesis are the same as the paragraphs below. Also, you do not need details here – these are just the foundation sentences. You have the right idea, but if you can make the subtopics match up in all 3 places, you will have a much stronger x-ray.
