The essay is already written i just needed it edited.
Instructions on edit:
1. Remove cited source from the first paragraph- the first paragraph should only be a summarization
2. make sure the thesis statement in the first paragraph (last sentence) has 3 main reasons (check body paragraphs to see if 3 reasons are mentioned
3. fix the citations and make sure that all quotes are properly cited, and if its a paraphrase, that is done correctly
4. make sure source is properly introduced before any paraphrases
5. in paragraph 3 add a topic sentence, evidence, and explanation of the evidence, also try and locate where the source in this paragraph is from
6. in paragraph 3 make sure the quote between the 2 cites is properly formatted
7. locate a direct quote for the states that was included in paragraph 3 and cite the source
8. corect intect citiation format (Last name, et. al. number of page) remove any (pg) that in a citation
9. in paragraph 4 all attributions needs to be fixed and all direct quotations need in their text citations fixed
if you have any questions please feel free to ask.
