This essay is supposed to be an evaluation essay for David Davenport, However it is not focusing on evaluating which needs to be fixed. The each body parapgraph should be evaluating one aspect of David Davenport. This essay should not have the writers opinion. Only write ifhe makes effective or persuasive argument.
If there is a part to support ONLY use the Konnikova article only to support. Do not use Konnikovas article as the whole paragraph.
The Introduction is too general topic. And has a argument in the back which needs to be fixed.
Body paragraph 1 is missing a evaluation which needs to e fixed. It has too much summary in this body paragraph and has a lot of pleasurism which needs to be fixed. The entire parapgraph is not connected to the evaluation of the paragraph and need to be changed.
Body Paragraph 2 is missing an evaluation again is almost all summary. Requires the evaluation and argument in the essay. The paragraph is also not focused on one point. The final part has evaluation but needs to be developed more.
Body Paragraph 3 is lacking evaluation on Davenports article and somehow it focuses on Konnikova too much.
Conclusion is not concluding the if Davenports article is persuasive or not.
