based on comments can you please revise paper.
Topic:
This paper concerns the novel Naomi.
Using examples from the novel, explain how people in the novel thought the modern girl was new and different. Why does the narrator find the modern girl so frightening?
Because the narrator is in part afraid of the new, this paper will give you practice in making arguments about change over time.
Again, please try to give a short, one-sentence answer to the question at the end of your first paragraph, and then develop your answer in separate paragraphs. Please pay attention to the order of your ideas and to making sure that you explain how each piece of evidence supports the point you are making in a given paragraph. Cite your evidence with footnotes.
Turn in Naomi paper here
The question for the paper is “Why does Joji find Naomi so frightening?” The answer should go in the last sentence of your opening paragraph. That is your thesis statement. But the last sentence of your first paragraph is “He considers Naomi unintelligent, as portrayed by her extravagant lifestyle undismayed with the high expenses they encounter.” I don’t understand how this statement answers the question.
Because I don’t really understand your overall answer to the question, it is really hard for me to follow the argument or structure of the paper. In the following paragraphs, you explain how Naomi embarasses Joji with her loudness, how Joji’s obsession worsens, and you conclude with the only paragraph that sounds to me like it has to do with fear: “Joji is subjected to Naomi’s manipulative control.” That might be your argument, but even there you don’t really talk about the issue of fear.
Less importantly — in History department papers, page numbers go in the footnote, not in parentheses.
